Summer Boredom Busters - A Guest Blog

A friend and Rock Star Mom of four, Stefanine Van Aken, recently met my Facebook question 'To Blog, or Not to Blog?' with a offer; An opportunity to be a guest blogger on her awesome site and give it a little taste before sinking my teeth into the whole bit. I was initially a little nervous! Aside from the undeniable fact that I avoid commitments these days like the plague, I also lack the uber confidence allowing me to feel funny enough, grammatical enough, worthy enough to be on her fab and established blog! But I jumped in with both feet and really had fun with it! Thought I'd share the post I submitted which ran here.

As a side note, Stefanie's blog is oozing with great articles, tips, guest blogs and more. Plus, she is super cool so make sure you check her out!

A Million Little Things

I have tossed around the idea of starting a blog for a long, long time. Mostly I've talked myself out of it for a couple of reasons:

1) The only thing we're short on around here is time and whenever I've sat down to write anything in the past it's consumed a lot of that precious resource.

and 2) I'm significantly better at coming up with brilliant time sucking ideas than I am at actually following through on any of them. Of course that is me in a nutshell. Someone once told me I'd make an exceptional CEO because of all these great ideas I have combined with the lack of ability and the complete and utter dependency on other people to actually get the job done. Although so far I'm finding CEO's make significantly more money than moms who want to write about the funny things their kids do.

Another thing you should know about me is, once I get an idea into my head, it's nearly impossible for me to let go of it without giving it the good ole college try. But what can I say, I'm come from tough, strong-willed German stock. Plus in this particular case, my reasons for diving in far outweigh my reasons for sitting on the sidelines.

My main motivation behind taking a leap into blogging is to capture my family throughout these seemingly insignificant moments of our lives right now. I've never been one to journal on my own but I l.o.v.e. to tell a good story - especially about my family. I have a million of them! I'm telling you these four little people and the big guy I live with give me great material!

I don't want to forget these moments either. When I watch Kellen nap in the middle of the day and stare at his flawless little face, those amazing eye lashes, his perfectly pouty mouth, that porcelain skin, it's hard to imagine that my mind could ever let go of an image like that. But my first baby just turned 12 and I have all but forgotten those tiny details about her two year old face without a photo to remind me. It's easy to remember her birth, her first Christmas, the first day of school; it's much harder to recall the million little things that have sculpted her into the young lady she has become. All those moments that made me fall in love with her over and over again.

Seriously have you seen a sweeter face?

And lets not forget the obvious: My kids will love to read this someday!  No matter what memories they hold into adulthood this tribute will offer a glimpse into their past; All of their stories told from the perspective of the person who loves them most in this world (not counting dear old D.A.D. of course).

So here I am, with blog, doing my thing for the sake of preserving my families countless memoirs. To date the hardest part of the process is coming up with a name! As it turns out, trying to sum up your entire life in a catchy little phrase can be a little tricky! Our family's interests, activities, personalities and little daily rituals feel as diverse and far reaching as the sea. We have all kinds of different dreams, hopes and desires. Plus if I am to stick to a theme for this blog, it better darn well be all-encompassing. I thought long and hard about what I'm interested in and passionate about. The things I want to do in my life and the things I've done. I barely scratched the surface of those same questions with regards to my kiddos and voila!  I give you, 'A Million Little Things.' I love it. It totally fits. And that's what life is all about anyway isn't it?

But there's a catch. Once the name hit me I was in a mad rush to get this thing up and running. I raced through the set up and felt all the stars in alignment to learn that the URL had not yet been taken. I spent the next several days tweaking the layout (why someone ever wants to write code for a living is beyond me), and watching my thoughts transform into my first few posts. It wasn't until I got enough gusto to share with my mom that I discovered I misspelled the title of my blog! It's not 'A Million Little Things' at all! It's 'A MilliAn Little Things!' An 'A' not an 'O'! Good Lord. If it wasn't so very typical of me I might have had to start all over again. But hey, if I'm going to keep it real we may as well just lay it all out there from the beginning. This CEO is far to busy and important to deal with minor details like spelling! (I should also mention that the URL spelled correctly is already taken even though it hasn't had any activity since 2007. However I wont be bitter...we're obviously somewhat kindred spirits me and my 'Million Little Things' counterpart.)

P.S. Thanks a heap spell check for always having my back. Particularly when I'm sending texts and you auto correct words like 'coming' to 'vomiting'. It's always nice to let a friend know 'I'm vomiting right now.'  Almost as nice as it is to misspell my own blog title.

Tiger Baby

My little smarty pants Jayden is no stranger to excellent grades. She's been an Honor Roll student for as long as she's been enrolled so when she bumped up to Middle School in the fall I knew she'd rock it. In truth, she's never really had to devote much effort to getting those grades. Jay is one of those girls that tests well and catches on quickly. But her workload has been really heavy this year with all accelerated core classes. Add in piano lessons, swim practice 3-4 days per week, Religious Education on Tuesdays and monthly visits to her Dad's house and that, my friends, is a mighty full plate. For her it has created A LOT of time spent before and after school to meet with teachers and catch up on missed work.

I love that Jayden has really taken the initiative on things that are important to her. I've not once had to ask her to schedule appointments with her teachers or remind her to let them know she'd be traveling. She has always taken care of those details in her life which means I don't have to be the super nag. I really, really love that! She even reviews her bi-monthly progress reports, highlights assignments that she's received a B or lower on, and tells me her plan to fix them! "Why fix a B," I ask? "Because I think I can do better." You gotta love a kid with that kind of inherent drive! (I wish she'd share a little with her mother!)

Sometimes I worry about her pushing it too far. That 'Type A Personality' in her tends to rear it's ugly head and often times she's overwhelmed, frustrated, and stressed over achieving perfection. Where is it coming from? While we have high expectations for her and all of our children we certainly aren't pushing them to greatness in Tiger Mom form. I am a BIG proponent of achieving balance in life and making sure priorities are set. Sometimes, 6th grade math just isn't as important as being a kid and having fun.

It's been a real eye opener for me as her mom to recognize that her needs are different this year. She doesn't need me to help her manage her schedule or tasks, she needs me to help her learn how to cope with the stressors that come along with them! I'm thankful that she's open to my kooky ideas like deep breathing, aromatherapy and relaxing self talk. They really seem to work for her. Plus I think I've got her convinced of the healing powers in good nap and a back scratch from mama.

This whole 'high achiever' bit she's got going on is awesome. It makes me super proud! But it comes with some burdens and I want to make sure she's armed with the right tools and knows how to lighten her load when it gets too heavy to carry. I also want to make sure we're rewarding the person she is more than the achievements she makes.

Regardless, I've seen first hand the amount of time and energy Jay has poured into her education this year and I'm really impressed. Hard work is always admirable she has definitely worked hard this year. This is just the icing on the cake:

I'm blessed that I get to call this girl my own.

Abracadabra and Alligators

This past Friday my sweet guy Frankie graduated from Kindergarten. Can I just say, for the record, that I L.O.V.E. Kindergarten! It's been great to go through this year of making friends, discovering new things and learning the ropes of this school thing with him. The graduation ceremony was early because his amazing teacher Mrs. Dove was VERY pregnant with a history of early deliveries and did not want to miss the big event. It was a doozie! Not only had she orchestrated the most adorable musical presentation but she had delivered that baby 6 weeks early the week before and STILL showed up for the ceremony with a special and very personal gift for each of the kids! She is Superwoman! It makes my heart sing that she loves our kids so much.





The musical was totally hilarious! Frank's best buddy Jack was positioned in the middle of a row of 'wide mouth frogs' and literally right in front of the microphone. His crooning quickly drowned out the other 30 something kids much to the dismay of this mother. Watching her stifle giggles in utter embarrassment while her face turned several shades of red was almost as entertaining as 'The Jack Show' itself!

Frankie was the one and only Alligator in the performance and he was AWESOME! He wrangled the microphone from Jack (OK not really but his mom, Amanda and I joked that Frankie had to strong arm Jack out of the way for his shot at stardom) and he was in his groove - head boppin, sing-songin' and jaw snappin' his way through the show. I especially loved the parts where he snuck glances my way to make sure I was watching and gave me that killer smile when he saw that I, of course, couldn't take my eyes off that precious little gator for single second! Broadway here he comes!

After the performance Frankie received the 'Class Magician' award for his 'magical' ability to make friends that love to shower him with gifts. Apparently it was not uncommon for him to receive several treats and goodies during recess from friends whom adore him! I never gave much thought to him coming home with stories of all the treats he collected from his friends (chips, candy, trinkets) but as Mrs. Dove said, "He's such a lovable guy and a great friend to all, it's hard to resist his magical powers!"


Man do I love that boy. I'm so proud that he's such good student, quick learner, hard worker, excellent reader, willing helper and great friend.


Three cheers for Mrs. Dove who has been the most loving and creative Kindergarten teacher we could ask for! We're so bummed she's taking some well deserved time off next year to spend with baby Max and wont be at Smalley for Emmy's first year.  We love you to pieces Mrs. Dove!

Mind Over Clutter

I love and adore my Emerson. However, she is a slob to the Nth degree. I am totally willing to accept responsibility for passing this gene along, although she puts any piglet tendencies I had as a kiddo to shame. Plus the second dose of sloppy she got from her dad only exacerbates this issue.  

Most days, walking into her room makes me want to crawl out of my skin. For real. Broken crayons, dried out markers, puzzle pieces, half colored papers, itsy bitsy Polly Pocket parts, stuffies, dirty clothes, very recently folded clothes (*a particular annoyance of mine), Barbie accessories, books and Littlest Pet Shops EVERYWHERE!

Nothing set out like it's being played with and enjoyed, but strewn about like she's been shooting her possessions from a potato gun while spinning around on her super cute but crumply, tangled bedspread.

Truthfully, I never even see her play with this stuff. She spends the bulk of her day coloring, playing outside and doing crafts in the kitchen. How the heck does this place get so messy?

I'll be the first to admit I can be a bit overzealous in the housekeeping department (a wild 180 degree turn of events since my childhood; It's become my weird little obsession with trying to control something within the craziness that is my life. More on that another day.) I ride my poor little girl like a pony about cleaning her room.

I have consulted numerous websites, magazines and expert books on the subject of organization for kids.

I've created chore charts.

Rewarded her.

Turned it into a game.

Sorted, tossed, organized, and put away. 

Forced her to sort, toss, organize and put away.

I've bought bins, baskets, bags and shelving units to make it as easy as humanly possible to actually pick something off of the floor.  

I've even yelled, bargained, and negotiated with this kid.

I'm telling you, nothing works. And it's not like this is my first time to the pony show. I'm pretty good at getting kids to take responsibility for keeping their space clean. Even my two year old knows where his dirty jammies go in the morning.

I think what gets me most is how little she seems to value her belongings. It's a bugger for me that she couldn't care less about things getting lost and broken in the chaos of her four walls! Doesn't she know how much this stuff costs? That money doesn't grow on trees? And that millions of kids around the world would give a limb for a fraction of what she has?



Last week, two days after I paid housekeepers to dust, vacuum and polish her room (along with the rest of the house) to a sparkling finish I caught my toe in a giant wire basket of random girlie goods, tripped and landed on the other side atop an open tube of messy lip gloss. That basket was the edge...and I had officially gone over it. Time to teach this girl a lesson! In a huff I grabbed a stack of giant black trash bags and packed up the ENTIRE contents of her room into those bags. I let her pick 5 books, 5 outfits and two pairs of shoes and told her she could earn her other items back by taking good care of and being responsible for what was still left.  (Oh how I wish I had the mind to take a before picture!)

 

All of her toy bins now rest on tippity top shelf of the closet

  I anticipated the argument. I waited for the tears. I was totally prepared for the knock-down-drag-out fight and the battle of wills. She was shockingly cavalier. Really. She walked around her empty room and looked...relieved. Inspired.  

 

The contents of the closet officially off limits. Good thing the hairbows are on the outside!

 Fast forward 9 days and God's honest truth Emmy has not asked for a single item in any of those bags. They're still tied up tight in her closet. I was right! She doesn't care about all of this stuff! But not because she's an unappreciative, spoiled, sloppy little girl. I set out to prove a point to my sweet but messy 5 year old and learned a lesson of my own. She simply doesn't need or even want all of these things! In my effort to contain the mess I neglected to even consider that she may be as overwhelmed as I am with all the parts and pieces everywhere. All this crap is bogging her down like my continual nagging!

 

Sorry for the grainy photos...had they been taken during the day they would be significantly better!

I think we'll weed through those bags this weekend and share the bulk with those 'millions of kids' who are without. We'll indulge in some ice cream atop the new found space of her bedroom floor and pat ourselves on the back for a job well done.





And They Danced Anyway

Without a doubt my favorite thing about weddings is the dancing. Fortunately for me I happen to be married to a man that feels the exact same way who is ready and willing to cut a rug at a moment's notice. It's sort of endearing that neither of us have a clue what we're doing, but we still swing, spin and groove to the music with the confidence of Fred Astaire (especially after a couple of beers!)

One thing we've noticed on every reception dance floor is an unassuming, little old married couple that masterfully breaks out into the Hustle with enviable moves. (How is it that literally EVERY wedding has a pair of fancy dancers?) It's sort of become an inside joke between  Frank and I. "Oh, there they are! The future Mr. and Mrs. Lowery, Swing Dancers Extraordinaire! That's so going to be us when we're old."

Well, Frank turns 40 next month and he must be officially 'old' because we've signed up for dance lessons at Arthur Murray Studio! I have to say right off the bat, their staff is amazing! Not only are they extremely knowledgeable, but they're hilarious; In my mind, that's the perfect mix-bag of traits for any teacher. We were invited a few weeks ago to a Guest Night by our good friend Alaina and even though we both sort of stumbled our way through the first lesson we were hooked! With Frank's blessing I signed us up for two  privates lessons and we've been learning to Swing! Our teacher, Adam is a bit Tweedle Dee-ish. He's shorter, round through the middle, and adorned with the tiniest pair of flashy black and white dancing shoes you've ever seen. I love him. Actually, Frank loves him too. With his quick wit, penchant for acronyms and a serious Star Trek obsession I want to just pick him up, stuff him in my pocket and take him home for us to marvel at. He's adorable. Moreover, that man can dance! He's nothing short of enchanting when he's in motion and while I KNOW we've got a long way to go, I'm seriously excited about learning to move like that!

Adam sat us down after our introductory meeting to learn about our goals.  We had to let him in on our secret fantasy to be the sassy swingers (ballroom that is) that others watch in awe. We want jaws to drop! So with Adams help we created our new mantra: "We're going to dance anyway, so we might as well be good at it!"

I'm proud to say after our first two lessons we're doing just that; We're kind of getting good at it! Adam says we've got good rhythm (this is news to us) and a great connection (I happen to think so too) so apparently we're teachable! And it must be said, my hubby is stinkin' cute out there! Aside from his perma grin, the best thing about Frank on the dance floor is that he wears  his super shiny, dressy shoes despite the fact that above the ankle he's rockin' a pair of  worn Lucky Jeans and a faded Silverman t-shirt. It totally cracks me up! I am so thankful that my hubbs is willing to go total dorkus for my benefit without regard to his manly man persona.

Next up? We're gonna crash some weddings!