Hump Day Discoveries

Traditional Indian food, although a taste sensation upon entry, is the most foul tasting gaseous expulsion ever experienced. Part cat vomit, part fish milkshake, it all adds up to the worst burp flavor in the universe.

Banana burps are the bees knees. But this is no new discovery. Every one already knows they're the shizz.

Urban Dictionary is the best and most useful website I've stumbled upon since Etsy. But UD makes you sound way cooler than you actually are and it won't get you placed on 'budget restriction.'

Breakfast for dinner never gets old.

Just because your toes feel like they might rip clean off of your feet while learning to Two-Step with your husband, doesn't mean they actually will. As a matter of fact they will look surprising normal and less blueish than you'd hope for making you feel like a giant sissy girl.

It might actually cost more to learn Two-Step than it would to get your toes surgically reattached.

Everthing tastes better if you drink it from a mason jar.

Pay no mind to the scrumdiddlyumptious (already purchased) popsicles in our freezer. The Ice Cream Man's are better. It bugs me the sing-songy way in which they chug-a-lug-a-lug down our street, forcing unsuspecting neigborhood mommies into fierce negotiations with their sugar-hoarding offspring.

The Ice Cream Man is a swindling bastard.



There is a surprising difference between the effect that one shot vs two shots of Patron has on a 185lb man's personality.

'Tequilla Frank' is a giant bag of giggles, wit and general hilarium. Please consider him for entertainment at your next party.

Really. He will. I mean aside from the Tequilla of course.

National Tequilla day is July 24th.

It will be given the higest celebratory honors in the Lowery house.