We Don't Need No Stinkin' Plan!

Yesterday morning I was on a mission. Rise and shine, coffee with the hubbs, and get the kids rolling on their chores early so we could get a good start on the day. I've been trying really hard to establish at least some semblance of a routine around here this summer which is a HUGE challenge for me. I'm not a planner by nature. Looking at a clearly organized agenda where every task has a specific time and place makes me feel really overwhelmed - even if that agenda is full of fun stuff! It totally sucks the anticipation out of a day and I prefer things to be a little more...spontaneous; A little less...over committed. 

At any rate, I've been given enough 'learning opportunities' over the years to realize that most kids thrive on a schedule whether I like it or not. They like to know what's coming. Looking at it from their perspective I can totally see how annoying it would be to happily construct a new Barbie village in your room without a care in the world only to have some bossy authoritative figure suddenly barge in on you and demand service. I get it. And I truly do believe it's reasonable for them to expect at least a rough idea as to what I've got up my sleeve for them on any given day.


But back to the morning. Down the stairs I went, armed with this knowledge, and fully prepared to layout a game plan: Nutritious breakfast, dress for swimming, a couple of quickie chores and we're off to run a few errands, swim and enjoy a picnic lunch by the pool then back home for Kellen's nap and piano lessons. It would be a full day, but a fun one (even though it was planned out to a T)


Jayden has been working at a friends office this week helping with their filing and other tasks so she could earn extra money for her upcoming Sea Camp in Catalina. Today would be her only day off until Saturday and the errands we'd planned to run were mostly for her so she'd be prepared for her BFF Julia's birthday party on Friday and would have everything she needed to begin packing for camp. In order to get my middles to swim practice on time we would need to be backing out of the driveway by 9:30 AM. Totally doable. I was already starting to feel like super-awesome-planner-mommy.

But here's the thing about planning. It's all well and good until someone doesn't go along with the plan. Frankie and Emmy got right to work collecting trash from around the house and bringing down the laundry. Miracles really do happen! But my usually willing helper Jayden had decided swapping out a load of laundry from the washer to dryer AND washing breakfast dishes was entirely too much work and her ranting and raving quickly escalated. My intention is not to hang the poor girl out to dry. Suffice to say she was WAY out of line and lost the privilege of enjoying a fun filled day with us. Instead she sat in a 6 hour meeting with Frank and various City entities scrutinizing barricade plans, reviewing permits and doing whatever it is they do in there for all those hours. Not fun.

Sometimes a good lesson is just as hard to teach as it is to learn. I really wanted to spend the day with Jay. I wanted to help her pick out sunglasses for camp and the perfect present for Jules. I wanted to share a Starbucks (me a soy Chai, her a Vanilla Bean Frapp) and chit-chat in the car on the way to the pool while the little ones happily watched Thomas the Tank Engine. Plus it would be our only day together this week for my working girl. But in this house, if you don't work, you don't play. Moreover if you throw a ginormous fit about helping you'll end up wishing you would have just sucked it up and gotten to it because not only will you be appropriately punished, but you're chores will still be waiting for you after you've served your time.

Without my sidekick for the day all those well thought out 'plans' would need to change. We'd have to carve out another time to get camp gear and a present, I'd have to leave the pool early to pick Jay up in time for piano lessons, chores wouldn't be finished,  and Frank would have some 'splaining to do at his meeting. In a nutshell, sticking to my guns was going to be an inconvenience for all of us.

I second guessed my decision all day. Maybe I was too harsh. She's not usually so defiant. Had I overreacted? I justified that this is why I don't plan in the first place because things almost never go according to plan! I was just plain annoyed by the situation in it's entirety.

Then I got a text message from Jay. It simply said, 'I'm sorry mom' and just like that, all was right in the world again.

By most standards I'm much more of a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants-flaky-mommy than I am the super-awesome-planner-mommy. And while I may drive my kids crazy most days toting them to and fro without much forewarning maybe there's something to be said for that element of surprise? I think I'll keep striving for structure in our day and see how it shakes out within my ping pong ballish lifestyle. Either way I'm so glad I trusted my instincts and followed through on our rules according to plan yesterday even if our list of planned todo's was thrown out of whack; It's a plan that we've spent a lot of time formulating and sharing with our kids and as it turns out, it's a plan that I might actually be good at sticking to!